Whenever you crank this Contraption, create two 1/1 blue Faerie Spy creature tokens with flying, haste, and "Whenever this token deals combat damage to a player, draw a card." Exile them at the beginning of the next end step.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, roll two six-sided dice. This Contraption assembles a number of Contraptions equal to the difference between those results. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Whenever you crank Rapid Prototyper, create an X/X colorless Construct artifact creature token, where X is the number of artifacts you control.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, until end of turn, target creature gains ": This creature fights another target creature."

Whenever you crank this Contraption, put target creature card from an opponent's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can play only the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.
The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.

When Ol' Buzzbark enters, roll X six-sided dice onto the battlefield from a height of at least X inches. For each die, put a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the result on each creature you control that die is touching. For each die, Ol' Buzzbark deals damage equal to the result to each creature an opponent controls that die is touching.

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Phoebe can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.
: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph is every creature type (even if this card isn't on the battlefield).
Whenever a host you control enters, you may search your library and/or graveyard for a card with augment and combine it with that host. If you search your library this way, shuffle.

+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.
−1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.
−6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

Flying
Whenever this creature attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
This creature has the text box of each card exiled with this creature in addition to its own.

(This creature has INFINITE POWER.)

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)