Equipped creature gets +2/+1 and has protection from die rolls. (Nothing that lets a player roll a die can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to equipped creature.)
Equip

Target player in an Un-game you can see from your seat gains control of target creature you control until your next turn. At the beginning of your next upkeep, put two +1/+1 counters on that creature. (A creature is on the battlefield of only the game its controller is playing.)

Flying
: Reassemble target Contraption you control. (Move it onto another one of your sprockets.)

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

A person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.

Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. If it's a host or has augment, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on this enchantment equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on this enchantment, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

: Uninstall all results from this creature, then roll a six-sided die. Install the result on this creature. (Put the die on this creature.)
You may uninstall a result from this creature to use it for a die you rolled.
Uninstall a 6 from this creature: Draw a card.

When this creature enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

When this creature enters, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can play only the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.
The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Whenever another artifact you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. If that artifact is a Contraption, this creature gains lifelink until end of turn.

, : This creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

First strike, protection from loose lips (Nothing with an open mouth in its artwork can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Sacrifice this creature: Destroy target enchantment.

When Ol' Buzzbark enters, roll X six-sided dice onto the battlefield from a height of at least X inches. For each die, put a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the result on each creature you control that die is touching. For each die, Ol' Buzzbark deals damage equal to the result to each creature an opponent controls that die is touching.

Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
: Roll a six-sided die.

Flying
This creature can block only creatures with flying.

Search your library for a host card or a card with augment, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

, : Look at the top card of target player's library. If it has an Agents of S.N.E.A.K. watermark, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. Otherwise, put it on your choice of the top or bottom of its owner's library.

Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)

, : Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

A person outside the game becomes your teammate. (Choose any number of cards in your hand, on top of your library, or on the battlefield under your control. Those cards become your teammate's hand, library, and permanents, respectively.)

When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.

Assemble X Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

As this enchantment enters, choose a rarity.
Whenever a creature you control with the chosen rarity enters, draw a card.

As this enchantment enters, choose Flavorful or Bland.
• Flavorful — Whenever a creature you control with flavor text enters, draw a card.
• Bland — Whenever a creature you control without flavor text enters, draw a card.

: Roll a six-sided die. This creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, this creature gains trample until end of turn.

First strike, protection from two-word names (Nothing with exactly two words in its name can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature. Hyphenated words are one word.)