Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)
Whenever an opponent reads this creature, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

Oubleday ikestray
Enwhay ouyay eakspay ay onnay-igpay-atinlay ordway, acrificesay isthay eaturecray.

Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system.

You gain life equal to your age.