When this Equipment enters, ask a person outside the game which creature you control is most deserving of a blue ribbon. Attach this Equipment to that creature.
Equipped creature has best in show. (Whenever another creature becomes the target of a spell or ability you control, you may copy that spell or ability. If you do, the copy targets this creature.)
Equip

Before the game begins, you may post a picture of yourself posing like the art of any Magic card with #GuessThatMagicCard and no other text.
You may reveal a reply posted today with a guess and a card you own from outside the game with the same name as that guess. Put that card into your hand. Exile Photo Op.

Protection from Robots
, : The next time target player would roll one or more dice this turn, instead they roll that many dice plus one and you choose one of those rolls to ignore.

, Tap an untapped creature you control that has a hat: Tap target creature.

Whenever this Equipment becomes attached to a creature, choose a creature card name with an identical mana cost. That creature becomes a copy of the card with the chosen name until this Equipment becomes unattached from it.
Equip

, Sacrifice this artifact: Search your library for a land card that doesn't have the same art as a permanent you control, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

This creature enters tapped.
When this creature dies, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll to visit your Attractions, if you roll a 6, you may return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Flying
This creature enters by being flipped from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If it lands face down or didn't turn over completely at least once during the flip, return it to its owner's hand.

Trample
, : You get {TK} (a ticket counter).

When this Equipment enters, you may put an ability sticker with ticket cost X or less on it without paying that sticker's ticket cost.
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has all abilities of ability stickers on this Equipment.
Equip

Whenever equipped creature attacks, roll a six-sided die. That creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result. Then if it has the greatest power or is tied for greatest power among creatures on the battlefield, draw a card.
Equip

Whenever you create a token or put a counter or a sticker on another permanent, put a knickknack counter on this creature. Use a unique item that completely fits on this creature for each knickknack counter.
This creature gets +1/+1 for each knickknack counter on it.

, Sacrifice this creature: Until end of turn, you may cast target creature card that has a hat from your graveyard.

Whenever you place a sticker, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn. If it's an art sticker, instead put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it.
: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each name sticker on it. It can't be blocked this turn.

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

Whenever Truss, Chief Engineer enters or another creature dies, put a hack counter on Truss.
, , Remove X hack counters from Truss: Add or subtract X from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn. This effect can't reduce a number below 1 or a number word below one.

Choose one or both —
• Destroy target creature with flying.
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)
You may apologize. If you do, you gain 3 life.

As Vorthos, Steward of Myth enters, choose a named Magic character.
Each spell you cast with the chosen character in its name, flavor text, or art costs less to cast. This effect reduces only the amount of colored mana you pay.

Choose two —
• Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
• Roll to visit your Attractions.
• You get {TK}{TK}.
• You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Add or subtract 1 from target creature's power, target player's life total, or target die roll's result.
Draw a card.

When Claire D'Loon, Joy Sculptor enters, for the rest of the game, tokens you own become cards that are still tokens. (They continue to exist after they leave the battlefield.)
, : You may put a token from your graveyard or hand onto the battlefield.

Whenever you cast a spell, choose one —
• Flavor — Meet and Greet "Sisay" gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each line of flavor text that spell has.
• History — Create a Treasure token if that spell doesn't share an expansion symbol with a permanent you control or a card in your graveyard.

This creature has lifelink as long as you control a stickered permanent.

, : Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature with four or more legs.
, : Until end of turn, all creatures able to block target creature with four or more legs do so.

When Lineprancers enters, you get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a power and toughness sticker on a creature you own.
: Target creature you don't control blocks target creature you control with a power and toughness sticker on it other than Lineprancers this turn if able.

This creature enters with two +1/+1 counters on it.
After you roll a die, you may remove a +1/+1 counter from this creature. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1.

Haste
When this creature enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Counter target spell unless its controller pays , where X is the number of words in the name with the most words among permanents you control.

Target creature gets +1/+0 and gains flying until end of turn.
Whenever you put an art sticker on a creature, you may return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

Return target creature to its owner's hand, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, scry a number of cards equal to the result.

First strike
As this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it.
This creature has protection from names that start with the same letter as a name sticker on it.

Eelectrocute deals 2 damage to any target.
You may cast this card from your graveyard as long as you've rolled a 6 this turn. If you cast it this way and it would be put into your graveyard, exile it instead.

If a hot source you control would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus 1 instead. (Something is hot if it has hot things in its art, like fire or explosions.)
, Sacrifice this enchantment: It deals damage equal to twice the number of hot cards in your graveyard to target creature or planeswalker.

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token for each fire extinguisher you can see from your seat.